Wednesday 28 May 2014

Why is it not ok to be single and happy?

This is a rant more than anything else, sorry folks! :-)


I have been single for quite a while now. Circumstances and my situation have partially dictated it but it has also been my choice.


I split from my ex when I was very early on in my pregnancy. It was a dark time for me. I had just got out of an abusive, controlling relationship and I was trying to keep it together for the unborn life inside me.


A few months ago I toyed with the idea of dating again but I chickened out. It probably has a bit to do with confidence but I also believe that I chickened out because its not the right time.


I'm not a woman that needs to be attached to a relationship. A relationship has never validated my worth and nor should it.


Recently people around me seem to be more forthcoming with their wee remarks about getting back on the horse, meeting somebody new, getting on with my life and many more.


Do people really think my life is at a standstill just because I'm not with a man? If I was with a man for the sake of it those same people would probably be saying that I was clingy, dependant, scared to be alone etc.. It seems that I can't win!


The final straw came at a mother and baby group a few weeks ago. I've known these mums since our babies were newborns. I know them all pretty well and some of them will be lifelong friends. One particular mum who I have a love/hate relationship with made a comment which just showed me how narrowed minded and ignorant some people can be. Her husband had been working away for a few days and she was giving out about it. She then said "I tell you, this going it alone is shit, boring even". I pointed out that my life is neither boring or shit.


I'm the happiest that I have ever been. I am enjoying life and living every moment. I'm finally self employed which is what I have wanted for years. I'm focused on being a great mummy but I also get to continue to do what I love for a living. I have bought a home and been working on that too. What part of all that seems like I'm treading water?


I can't believe that in 2014 people still seem to think that I'll only really have it all once I have a man.


Rant over.


Has anyone else experienced a similar attitude?


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2 comments:

  1. I was a single mum for years from when oldest was 3 untill she was 8 and I was really happy yeah it's hard work but I wouldn't of had it any other way me & daughter were happy and had loads fun together. Xx

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    Replies
    1. Exactly pet. I just hate that other people put their "requirements for a happy life" on me. I've never been happier. I've never felt more content. x

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