That thing called love....

Today has been one of those days...

Wee man is cutting a back molar (I think) and goes from inconsolable to ticked off in the blink of an eye!

He's also at that stage where he's into everything, so on quite a few occasions today I've had to move him from something, tell him why I don't want him doing A, B or C ("please don't put your wee finger in the plug, you might hurt yourself") and then redirect his attention so it doesn't become his main focus. 

I put him down for his nap about half an hour ago and was rubbing his head as I do before he drifts off.

I just felt emotional out of nowhere and immediately thought "I hope he feels loved".

I don't know where it came from or why. I don't know why it hit me so strongly and with such force either.

This wee boy gets told a million times a day that I love him. I'm very affectionate and tactile with him. We spend as much time together as possible and I try to make every minute count, so when I'm having my saner moments (like now) I have no doubt that he feels loved. 

Though it does show you how one trying day (we all get them, right?) can attack your vulnerable side and make you doubt yourself. 

Have you ever had a moment like that? 

Dear Baby Boy....

Dear Baby Boy,


Mummy has been thinking about a few things today so I thought I would tell you about them.

• I wish that you would kiss me with the same enthusiasm that you do when offering kisses to virtual strangers.
• I wish you would throw your toys in the toy box as expertly as you throw your snacks around the kitchen.
• I wish you would race to your bedroom at bedtime as quickly as you race to the bathroom when you discover the door is open.
• I notice that you don't rip the pages out of your books like you rip them out of my magazines.
• I'm not as silly as I look, I know that when you start clapping in that cute wee way that you're really just trying to distract me from the fact that I caught you pulling all the DVDs off the shelf again.
• Why don't you get as excited to see me as you do when you see your granny's dog?
• You're as complaint as you are defiant and I love it.

All of this and only 10.5 months old. I joke of course but more than anything, I hope that you never ever change. If I had to make a list of what my perfect baby would be like....its you. You make me smile every single day. You make me want to be the best person that I can be. I've never known love like it. Who needs a man on Valentine's day when I have a mini Mr Perfect at home?


Much love. xx


@latte_fiend on Twitter

Spring cleaning my friends?

I thought when I got to my late 20s that I knew who my friends were, I thought that they would be my friends for life. I've learned that people change, both myself & others.

I'm a single mum of one. When I fell pregnant last year the reactions of some were a surprise. Some friends were over the moon for me, said they would be there to support me as & when needed. Others acted like it was the end of the world. Was it going to affect their lives in the slightest? I think not. I just put it down to them being shocked about the news & moved on. 

As the pregnancy progressed people I used to think of as good friends were withdrawing from me. Now that I couldn't get drunk & didn't want to go out partying I seemed to have lost my appeal. I had enough on my plate though so I swept it to the side, assuming those same friendships would come right in the end. 

When my baby boy arrived this year I got some cold, clipped congratulatory texts....basically just paying lip service to save face. 

Now my baby is 7 months old & those friendships haven't improved. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of being the one to put in all the effort. I'm sick of phoning to see how they are & having them not ask about my son in return. 

Just like I sometimes need to spring clean my house, I need to also spring clean my friendships & bin those that are no longer working. It's sad to turn my back on years of friendship but I refuse to waste my time on what is no longer working. Not to mention that if people couldn't be there for me during the biggest event of my life to date, well then they have no business being in my life at any other time. 

I wish them no ill will but it's time to move on & leave them behind.

Peace. 💋

@latte_fiend on Twitter