New Year, New Resolutions?

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." - Hal Borland
2013 has been the most life changing year for me. I gave birth to my son and have experienced a love I never knew existed. I have also learned a lot about myself along the way. 

I'm now on the road to becoming self employed so that I can spend more time with him - something I have always wanted to do but never been brave enough. Keep your fingers crossed that it all pays off! :-)
I have also learned that some friends are only friends because the 'conditions' of the friendship suit them. This has made me appreciate all those genuine people in my life even more so.
Onto the new year and potential resolutions. :-) Why does it take a new year to make resolutions? For some unknown reason it seems like a new year rolling around is the perfect time to make changes.
In recent years I have decided not to make resolutions. They seemed pointless, one month later I would be back to old ways.  Why set myself up to feel like a failure?
Yet, this year I feel compelled to make a few resolutions and I feel determined to stick to them. Who knows if it's just a fleeting feeling...only time will tell. :-)
The resolutions are:
1. I will diet and I will lose weight.
2. I will appreciate the here and now, not dwelling on the past or daydreaming of the future.
3. I will open a savings account for my son and make sure it gets regular contributions.
4. I won't let other people's attitudes/negativity rub off on me. They will live their life how they wish, as will I, I will chose to be positive. Hippy dippy enough for you? ;-)
5. The last but the most important is that I will enjoy every single moment with my gorgeous wee boy. When it comes down to it, it's all that matters anyway.
Are any of you making resolutions?
Love. x


@latte_fiend on Twitter. 
 

Grow Your Own Pizza Chef - Apparently. :-)

Every Christmas I buy myself a present. It might be a big thing, it might be a small thing. It's just whatever takes my fancy at the time.

Just before Christmas I was in Tesco doing a last minute shop. Even with a list I had been compiling for a month, I still forgot so many things. :-)

I seen this sitting on a reduced shelf, £1.75! It's from Gift Republic and is sold on their site at £9.99. 

I have recently been attempting bread making in my limited spare time and pizza dough has to be one of my bigger successes. So, this wee box seemed perfect as a gift for myself. Whether it works or not...time will tell but it's a bit of fun. 

The inside of the box contains the following: 

- 3 coconut husk starter plant pots

- 3 coconut husk compact discs

- 3 lollipop sticks (which they call plant markers)

- 1 packet of tomato seeds

- 1 packet of oregano seeds 

- 1 packet of basil seeds

- A short instruction book

Unfortunately I received two packets of oregano seeds & no basil seeds but hey ho, it didn't exactly break the bank. :-) Excuse the names on the sticks. I didn't realise I had no basil until after the photo had been taken & I was looking at the writing on the seed packets. :-) 

I'm looking forward to seeing how they grow (or don't!) I suppose they're a bit of practice for the vegetable/herb garden I intend to get started on in the early spring. It's been one of the 'wants' since I started house hunting & now that I have this place I have no excuse. :-) 

Is anyone else green fingered? 

Love. x 

@latte_fiend on Twitter.

My favourite Winter Skincare Products

Since I fell pregnant and had my son my skin has changed completely. Who would have thought it possible? Not me! I used to have an oily T-zone with a few blemishes every month that tied in with my period. The fun of being a female! :-) Now I seem to have combination skin with an infuriating mid area on my face (nose and under my eyes) which is dry. Couple that with the cold winter weather & it's been a chore to keep on top of it. That is until I got my grubby paws on these next few products. They have made my winter skincare routine easy as opposed to a military effort.

 

This is Lush's Mint Julips. It's a mint chocolate flavoured lip scrub. I use it every night before I go to bed & it leaves you with the smoothest, kissable lips. :-) The smallest amount will buff away any dead skin and at £5.50 it's not going to break the bank. 

My next saviour is Lush's Ultrabland Facial Cleanser. It's quite a creamy/oily texture (that will be the almond oil). There's no faffing around with it. You rub it over your face and remove it by wiping it off with a cotton pad or flannel that's been run under warm water. One of my friends particularly likes to use her muslin cloths to remove it. 

 Lush actually advise that you use this product and only this product for one month to bring skin back into balance. I did this and it certainly worked for me. I'm more than impressed. Again, I don't think the cost is extortionate at £6.95 for a 45g pot or £10.95 for a 100g pot.

Product number three is Lush's Ultrabalm.

I work outdoors a lot and since I have developed this dry area I feel that I need to take that extra step to protect and nourish my skin while I'm outdoors. This product has the texture of wax and goes onto your skin a bit like Vaseline. I wouldn't recommend wearing it alone in the summer or under make-up as you will no doubt end up shiny (never a good look!) but for overnight and during winter it is perfect & incredibly nourishing. 

It has many, many uses! The Lush website states:

"Use it anywhere that needs some moisture; as a hand cream, on your hair to keep static flyaway at bay, as a lip balm, to brighten up your tattoos, on dry knees and elbows – even to tame your eyebrows and hold them so. There’s no end to the things you can do with one little tin." 

I also use it as a hand cream overnight while wearing moisturising gloves and in the morning my hands are so soft. It's £8.50 for a 45g tin and could probably last for an entire year! That's got to be a bargain item, right? :-)

All of these products are brilliant, I can't speak of them highly enough but I'm back to square one once the warmer weather rolls in. So, any advice, recommendations or suggestions are very welcome! 

What skincare routine do you have? What products do you use?

Love. x

@latte_fiend on Twitter. 

First Christmas With Little Man

Well, its Boxing Night and I have done nothing but overindulge for the past two days. Its been great! I thought I would take this quiet moment to write a post since I have been neglecting my blog recently.

This Christmas was a Christmas of firsts for me.
- My first Christmas as a mummy.
- My first Christmas with my gorgeous little man.
- My first Christmas preparing for Santa.

I have loved every single minute of it and cannot wait to do it all over again next Christmas. I had a "Baby And Me" day on Christmas Eve. We woke up, had breakfast together, napped together, opened LM's (Little Man) Christmas Eve box, had a walk together where we fed the ducks and deers, watched The Snowman together (well I watched it while he glanced at it now and again and rolled around on the sofa!) Then we decamped to my parent's house to spend a few days with family.

Waking up on Christmas morning to my son's smiley little face seemed to encapsulate in that moment everything that Christmas is about...love, family (& I don't just limit that term to those related by blood), happiness, the small, simple and insignificant things. Yes, we all like to receive nice things but Christmas is about so much more than that. 

My son eventually understood that the wrapping paper came off his gifts and revealed the toy inside. His favourite toy was still the mountain of discarded wrapping paper though. :-) He was overwhelmed at times, I think our excitement was rubbing off on him but he had a fun filled day which is what matters.

I couldn't help but get involved in Sarah Millican's #JoinIn on Twitter. So many people were alone (and lonely) this Christmas and something as minute as a hashtag seemed to make them feel loved. You could get a real sense of the spirit of Christmas through that timeline. I'll definitely be dipping in and out next Christmas too. 

I hope everyone else enjoyed their day and continue to enjoy the festive feeling for a few more days. 

Love. x

@latte_fiend on Twitter.

Life is so short

Apologies for the absence but I have been busy moving myself and baby boy into our new house. I now fully understand why they say that moving house is one of the most stressful things a person can do...

At least I thought it was one of the most stressful things until I got a bit of perspective.

I write this as I await news about a baby I know in respiratory failure. The doctors are using their last option to help him, after that there is nothing they can do for him. I look at my son, who is just a little bit younger, and I cannot imagine being faced with that. How do you even begin to prepare yourself? The thought alone kills me. Life is so very cruel sometimes. I still hope against hope that this little boy will be the one to make a miracle recovery.  He has so many people rooting for him. 

All of the above, that's real stress. Not "shopping" for a new house moving boxes around. It's sitting by your babies hospital bed not knowing what's around the corner.

It shouldn't take things like this to make you take stock of your life & appreciate what you have but unfortunately most of us lose our way a little.

I don't think this particular blog post serves any purpose other than for me to say - sit down, think about everything you have & be thankful. That's what I intend to do. 

Love. 

@latte_fiend on Twitter 

The Hard Parts

 

This saying has rang true for me on so many occasions this year. It has been the most enjoyable/exciting rollercoaster I have ever been on but it hasn't been without its hard parts and its those hard parts I want to write about for this post. As with most of my posts, I can only talk about it from the perspective of being a single mother but I'm sure some of the things I'm going to talk about can ring true for any parent at some time or another, single or otherwise.

The loneliness. My baby boy is the best company! Even though he has me awake at 5am most mornings, the day seems to fly by and before I know it its 7pm and time for bed again. That said, when he goes to bed I can sometimes feel the loneliness set in. In order to stave it off that's when I normally throw myself into cleaning, cooking something to eat and paperwork. It means that I never really relax.

No other team players. Not so much now but in the earlier weeks/months I found it hard not having anyone to hand the baby over to. I found myself bathing at 2am on some occasions because I knew it would be my only opportunity. Sometimes my first proper bite of food would be midnight. People are very happy to talk about "helping" but what they really mean is they'll hold the cute baby while you bust a gut doing something else.
Now that my son is crawling and climbing up on everything, I find I can't take my eyes off him for two seconds. So once again I find myself longing for someone to be there just to keep an eye on him while I make him lunch/dinner etc. without worrying that he's swinging from the chandelier! ;-)
I also sometimes wish there was someone there to take their turn at getting up at 5am while I catch up on some much needed sleep. I have never lusted after anything, or anyone for that matter, like I lust after a full/long nights sleep.

Nobody to tell me I'm doing a good job. Ok, this one is a wee bit self indulgent but we all like to hear that we're doing a good job, don't we? After a tough day or long night its sometimes just the boost you need to hear to keep you going.

Sleep deprivation. This one is the b*t*h. There's a reason some countries have used this as a method of torture....it works! It affects how you think, how you feel and it makes you become someone that you don't recognise.

Nobody to share the amazing moments with. In quick succession my boy started to sit up unaided, then started to creep, then crawl and he's pulling himself up on the furniture now. He's doing a combination of baby led weaning and traditional weaning. He's about to move into his own room (I don't want to talk about it! lol) So many moments like these have passed by and each one has brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye. I couldn't be more proud of this little bundle. I don't miss my ex (not in the slightest), I don't miss that life and what it done to me but I do miss the notion of having someone there to dance around the room with me when my child has reached yet another milestone. Instead I phone family and close friends and they do a brilliant job of being just as elated as I am. :-)

How have you other single mothers found things?

Love. xx

@latte_fiend on Twitter.

What I've Learned So Far

I'm a single mummy. Its the best job I've ever had, its rewarding and makes everything worthwhile but its hard. Its not all sweetness and light but then most parents have learned that little titbit, haven't they? :-)
While pregnant the label "single mother" scared me. Were people going to judge me? Were they going to think that I was someone that had messed up? Were other women going to think they were better mothers than me because they had managed to "keep their man"? Granted, a lot of the doubt was down to hormones but still, I'm sure I'm not the only single mother that thought those things.
My baby is 8 months old now and I've learned quite a few lessons so far. This is what this particular post is about.

No regrets. When I split from my ex I wished I had never met him, I regretted that I had wasted so many years of my life in an abusive, dysfunctional relationship. Then my baby boy was born and the moment I held him I instantly realised that the past is just that, the past, over, gone. I never need to repeat it. I've learned my lessons and I'm moving forward. I'll never get to the end of my days and think "I wish I had spent more time looking back".

A couple with a baby doesn't make them happier than me. I've met some mummies through baby groups etc. and some of them are miserable in their relationships, others are as happy as me. Its taught me that having an other half might make the load a wee bit lighter at times but it doesn't make their "happy tank" any fuller than mine.

Not all families look the same. I've always known this but being a single mummy brings it to the forefront. Baby boy and I are still a family, a unit. I'm glad that things have changed so much over the years. As my son grows older he will be able to look around and realise that families are all very different - 2 mummies, 2 daddies, different nationalities, races, 1 mummy or 1 daddy. I'm not saying the nuclear family is bad - I'm just glad that there are many different variations now.

Trust my instincts. People offer lots of well intentioned (but often uninvited) advice when you have a new baby. Everyone seemed to want to offer me advice, even though it was the last thing I needed. The baby thing has always been easy. I've worked in childcare for 15 years so a newborn baby didn't worry me. Though, when you have just given birth your hormones are raging, you're running on adrenaline but you also feel quite vulnerable. Because of this, the "advice" started to make me question the decisions I was making. Maybe I was doing things incorrectly? I had a moment during a night feed and decided that from then on I would smile sweetly when offered advice & then do things the way I wanted to. There aren't many people that I trust as much as I trust myself. :-)

How to be frugal without being miserable. I have to be smart with my money for obvious reasons but I've learned to make it go quite far without having to be miserable. Only buying what I need, making lists and only buying what is on the list, freezing the food I can't use before their date, batch cooking etc. I'm still learning. :-)

I'm extremely proud of the job I'm doing. I have a baby who is happy and more loved than he could ever imagine. We're just at the beginning of our story but I look forward to the next page.

 

What are your thoughts and experiences?

 

@latte_fiend on Twitter